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Joke of the Day
"*wife wonders where I am in the store* *hears glass shatter* *knows where I am*"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between 'your mum' and 'knock knock' jokes? A door doesn't let you come inside."
"Q: What did the alien say to the gardener? A: Take me to your weeder."
"I don't see the point of buying an autobiography when I can just flip to the last page and read the author's biography."
"How do u call a Boomerang that doesnt come back ? a Stick"
"Imagine if, in some fit of drug-induced rage back in the 60s, Keith Richards had killed David Crosby & Gram Parsons? Talk about killing two byrds with one stone."
"What kind of pizza does Lil Wayne like? Little seizures."
"*shoots self in the foot and screams in agony for 20 seconds* *hits 'stop recording' on outgoing voicemail message*"
"Three maxi pads walk up to a bar... ...a large, medium and a small one. Which one is the first to say something to the bartender? None of them, they're all stuck up cunts."
"The War on Terrorism.... ....God's way of teaching Geography to Americans."