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Joke of the Day

"I saved a girl from getting raped today I stopped chasing her"

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"Did you know Wiener dogs are the the breed that bites the most people? Well, you would be pissed off too if your arms and legs were a foot long!"
"Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish and you feed him for the rest of his life."
"How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just Juan."
"DONALD Your tax returns now! Clinton: We all did our tax returns now show is yours Trump: I emailed it you"
"Why did the Siamese Twins travel to England? So the other one could drive"
"What did the fry cook do when he found out he was cooking burger patties made of feces? He flipped a shit."
"My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell 'em: ""You're gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates""..... whatever!!"
"""Put your pants on grandma, you're scaring the reptiles!"" - Me, camping"
"I made $350.05 sucking dick last night. Me: I made $350.05 sucking dick last night. Friend: Wow! Who gave you the nickel? Me: All of them..."