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Joke of the Day

"Where did the piglets study their ABC's? At a school for higher loining."

"The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight."

"Watching Grey's Anatomy teaches me that if I'm really sad, I should walk slowly down a corridor to a Snow Patrol track."

"Who knows about math and science and is always close by? An engi-near!"

"If I don't charge my iPad at the beginning of the week I spend the whole time just trying to catch up to 100%."

"Still waiting for the FedEx joke? OP didn't deliver."

"So I told my girlfriend... ""Hey, wanna try anal?"" She lost her shit on me."

"What is 2 inches and goes in one direction. Louis Walsh's Penis."

"Lock myself in the bathroom for an hour and a half to get ready. Come out looking exactly the same, but my phone's at 9% and I have to pee."

"What's the difference between a seal and a sealion? An electron"