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Joke of the Day

"So I told my girlfriend... ""Hey, wanna try anal?"" She lost her shit on me."

"My grandson asked me what it's like to be married so I told him to leave me alone. When he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me"

"How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected? All your stuff has been donated to charity"

"[Image] An image speaks louder than words. If words can be offencive, more so can be images. So avoid all words and images that can offend someone."

"I would totally surf a tsunami. If I didn't get nauseous on water. And if tsunamis weren't dangerous. And I knew how to surf."

"A kid asks his dad, ""what's the difference between 'realistically' and 'potentially'""? His dad responds, ""realistically you've heard this joke before, potentially, you will hear it again""."

"Who, me? Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work."

"A joke is like a frog... ... you understand it better after you dissect it, but then the frog is dead."

"Local news station is airing a segment on free rent in exchange for sex. Look, you don't have to tell me how a marriage works."

"What's the bet part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There's twenty of them!"