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Joke of the Day

"Calling someone 'one in a million' in China means they aren't that special."

"I went to a vegetarian restaurant I went to an all you can eat vegetarian restaurant the other day and there was this girl who said she knew me but I swear I never seen herbivore."

"Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water? If it sinks, girl ant. If it floats, buoyant."

"Quite the conundrum for us ass men... We cannot lie, but we must never trust a big butt and a smile. I'll see myself out now."

"what do you call a 145 million year old swine carcass? Jurassic Pork Ill show^myself^out"

"Whats the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew Harry made it out of the chamber"

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A CARROT"

"All of the Apple fanboys are missing the main feature they can hold over android users Their nude pictures are automatically synced to 4chan and reddit."

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegtable? Putting her back in the wheel chair..."

"Do not use ""Whoomp! There it is!"" unless it actually is there."