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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegtable? Putting her back in the wheel chair..."

"Wives are like boats. Happy the day you get one. Happier the day you get rid of it."

"There's furniture items that allow SFW swearing. That's sofa king nice."

"I dance like people wish they weren't watching."

"What kind of railway is an Italian engineer's favourite? Funicula"

"[texting] Wife: Clean out your bowels. Me: OK. Wife: *bowls. The ones in the sink Me: *chugging laxatives* Damn it."

"Could you guys not make jokes about the holocaust here? My grandfather died in the holocaust, and it's really offending me. He fell out of one of the guard towers at Auschwitz"

"I hate ""save the date"" engagement cards. After divorce you should have to send out ""hey forget about that one date 6 months ago"" cards"

"I have a job for you planting tulips.... ON DIS DICK!"

"The rules of weed do not work for pussy.. If you can smell it across the room, it's not the good shit."