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Joke of the Day
"*steps on a Lego* *shouts a bunch of obscenities* Son: *walks in* is football on?"
Next Joke
"If you're happy and you know it, share your meds"
"I got a job installing elevators It's some next level shit"
"They say to wait a few months before throwing down $1000+ on something, to see if you still want it. Unfortunately, my land lord doesn't seem to agree."
"How do you say nachos in English?? Mine!"
"Held the door open for a japenese women today she said ""sank you"" I replied ""we blew you up"" She hit me with her walking stick... Apparently she meant thank you Edit: grammar mistake"
"What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US Leader"
"I was eating an orange this morning, but it tasted funny... so I put it back in the crayon box!"
"English joke - What's another name for Santa's elves? Subordinate Clauses"
"Reportedly, Bill Gates filed for trademarks on iCrosoft, iNdows & iHateSteveJobs today. Then, he wiped his ass with a bazillion dollar bill."