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Joke of the Day
"How did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate the pizza before it was cool."
Next Joke
"So far at work I've straightened a paper clip then tried bending it back to its original shape. Employee of the month right here."
"He is on that bird call website a lot. - My Mom describing me on twitter to older relatives at get-togethers."
"What is the biggest battery size? The D. It's huge."
"If Noah was not holding ' Control ' while selecting the animals that were to enter the ark, then the Bible is a lie to me."
"I'm no scientist, but harnessing the power of teen girls talking would probably solve all the world's energy woes."
"Some people have difficulties sleeping... but I can do it with my eyes closed."
"I stepped on two raccoons today, but I'm just gonna play it cool and wear them as slippers for the rest of my life."
"A psychic dwarf just escaped from prison... Apparently there's now a small medium at large"
"A Russian comes to the Ukrainian border. The Ukrainian border guard asks, ""Name?"" The Russian answers, ""Boris."" The border guard asks, ""Occupation?"" The Russian says, ""No, just visiting."""