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Joke of the Day

"So far at work I've straightened a paper clip then tried bending it back to its original shape. Employee of the month right here."

"Turns out she has a boyfriend.. I see this hot girl wating for the bus so I got over there and said: ""Hey, you are fucking hot!"" and she is like: ""Have you seen Taken, if not - look at me""."

"Why do Mexicans have no Targets? Because Trump is hiring them all to build a Wall mart."

"When asked about hobbies, don't start lap dancing. #jobinterviewfail"

"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those who understand binary and those who don't."

"How does a baby Wookie get around? Ewoks"

"me: Should I pack condoms? wife*laughs* me*driving* wife*still laughing* me*checks into the hotel* wife*calls friend so they can both laugh*"

"What did the black holes say when they collided? Nothing, they just waved. (Sorry)"

"What do you call ratting out the President's daughter for smoking weed? High treason."

"Trump has just been debriefed about the aliens in area 51 he wants them deported immediately"