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Joke of the Day

"He is on that bird call website a lot. - My Mom describing me on twitter to older relatives at get-togethers."

"The first thing I do when someone introduces themselves to me is forget what their name is."

"Why is owning a Prius difficult? It's hard to drive when you're patting yourself on the back all the time."

"Some people talk the talk, others walk the walk. And here I am, a mute in a wheelchair."

"Wife: Valentine's day is right around the corner. Me: No worries, so is Wal-Mart."

"Waitress dad jokes When waitress comes to the table ask if she takes orders ,""to go""? If she says yes respond with, ""Great! Get your purse we're leaving."""

"How do you reuse a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it."

"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar They each got 6 months"

"I just don't understand pedophiles, kids are SO annoying."

"I received an email from Google It said, ""At Google Earth we can read maps backwards "" I thought, ""That's just spam."""