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Joke of the Day

"A psychic dwarf just escaped from prison... Apparently there's now a small medium at large"

"What do you call a burger made from 50% beef and 50% veal? Half Calf"

"If I had a time machine, I'd go back in time to just before a famous person was supposed to be assassinated and borrow money from them."

"Levi's commercial idea. A man lay dead on the ground. Another man stands over him. The camera pushes in slowly on the killer's face. Levi's"

"I just cross-bred a crocodile and a homing pigeon. I expect that'll come back to bite me."

"What did one empty beer bottle say to the other? ""I'm drunk."""

"I'm not looking at your ass, I'm admiring your back pocket."

"A guy at the DIY store asked if I wanted decking... ...fortunately I managed to get the first punch in."

"Why doesn't the U.S. government allow students to visit North Korea? They become victims of youth-in-asia!"

"Regarding the change of pm in Australia... Thought that it was abbot time it changed since it turn-ed blue for Tony ... I'll see myself out"