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Joke of the Day

"Why Are Germans Buried 20 Feet Underground? Because deep down they're real nice"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!"

"My girlfriend and I were having sex so loud we woke up the whole house. My wife was furious."

"I think my penis is sick!!! I was playing with him this morning and he threw-up in my hand."

"And the award for Best Actress goes to...*opens envelope*....my 4 year old daughter for her overly-dramatic scene in ""Bath Time""."

"How do you know its noon on an Apple Watch? The screen stays black when you check the time."

"Hey girl, are you a compressed file? 'cause I wanna unzip you and open you up."

"I always ask my dad for help Whenever I ask my dad for help with something, he always tells me that I'm a faggot and how should already have a job. I only 30 years old dad, there are child labor laws."

"Beware of Advice from Successful People They don't want company."

"What would you call a 90 year old hooker? Ho-spice"