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Joke of the Day

"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *chokes*"

"Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV? His parents weren't 18 or older."

"Why did Frankenstein's monster give up boxing? Because he didn't want to spoil his looks."

"I hate it when strangers question me. I'm with my kid, & this lady goes, 'He's cute. Who does he look like?' I'm like, 'Your husband'"

"What kind of sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear? Oakley Dokelys"

"""Can't argue with that!"" he said, pointing to an inanimate object."

"Advent calendars are fun if you ignore that every day is a new, fresh hell waiting to be survived."

"I gave my cat a middle name today, so she knows when she is really in trouble."

"Every Saturday is like an episode of CSI... I have to figure out where I was, what I did, and who I did!"

"Henry constantly confuses sleeping people with dead people. Henry is also a necrophiliac so things get awkward for Henry quick"