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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV? His parents weren't 18 or older."

"I wonder how smart I'd be if my brain were as good at remembering anything as it is at remembering every humiliating thing I've ever done"

"Fun fact about Earth: It is an insane hellworld where a species of ape has harnessed the power of liquefied dead things to destroy itself."

"What cheese is the most religious? Swiss cheese! (it's the most hole-y)"

"MySpace got old. Facebook got old. Now Twitter is getting old. What next? Damn. I guess we'll have talk to people in real life."

"Hey girl, are you an F5 key? Cause that ass is refreshing."

"Did you hear about the transvestite? He liked to eat, drink, and be Mary."

"Capitalization is important There's a big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won an Oscar? He was out standing in his field."

"Video games should be banned. My son just threw a turtle shell at a walking mushroom then disappeared down a green tube. Someone call 911."