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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when strangers question me. I'm with my kid, & this lady goes, 'He's cute. Who does he look like?' I'm like, 'Your husband'"

"Scientist have found a rare mutation in some goats... It's called the Billy gene and causes them to believe that the kid is not their son."

"What does a flying rabbit has on his back? An eagle"

"My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks"

"I carry a stone around to throw at anyone I hear singing Christmas songs before Thanksgiving. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock."

"Rick Astley will loan you any movie in his Pixar collection except for one... He's never going to give you Up"

"Why doesn't the pope like the Higgs Boson? Because you can't have mass without him"

"Tonight's Menu: Gourmet pork blend sausage with organic tomato reduction, served on warm split bread rolls. AKA: Hot dogs with ketchup."

"What does a duck and a bicycle have in common? They both have handlebars. Well, except for the duck."

"Why didn't Ahmadinejad have a beer? He wasn't in the MahMoud."