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Joke of the Day

"Why did Adrian Peterson sign with the Minnesota Twins? Because they needed a switch-hitter."

"what would you call superman if he was deaf and mexican? No hero"

"Why did the hoagie go to the shrink? He was having problems with his sub-conscious."

"How many groping victims does it take to stop Trump from being president? We're about to find out.."

"How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist? Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'"

"I'm so progressive, I lock the car doors when white people walk by."

"Dark Joke from my sister when she was 6. Her: How did the dead baby get across the road? Me: How? Her: It was stapled to the chicken. Me: ....."

"I got infatuated with a pizza. I thought it was just a *crust*. But damn, it was love at first *slice*"

"Stood in very long line today at the DMV behind James Bond renewing his license to kill... shouldn't they have a separate line for that?"

"Why are manhole covers round? Because manholes are round."