96906
Joke of the Day
"I'm so progressive, I lock the car doors when white people walk by."
Next Joke
"Yesterday I told my aunt that DTF means ""Doing the Facebook"". Her daily posts are much more entertaining now."
"Q: Did you hear about the blonde that got pregnant for the second time? A: She asked her husband if they needed to get married again."
"A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does."
"Ant: I found this book of what humans call us. I'm an ant Dung Beetle: What am I called? Ant: *checks, shuts book* Let's not focus on labels"
"""Never go to bed angry"" is the worst advice ever. I haven't slept in eleven years."
"I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high She told me she's tired of my repost BS and divorced me. It was definitely a surprise."
"I am a dyslexic agnostic insomniac. I lie awake at night wondering if there is a dog."
"People keep comparing Trump to Hitler, but that is just not true. I mean, Hitler could paint."
"My girlfriend told me she almost choked on her birth control this morning. It looks like it almost did it's job."