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Joke of the Day

"Stood in very long line today at the DMV behind James Bond renewing his license to kill... shouldn't they have a separate line for that?"

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!"

"How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the dark side."

"They should put a statue of me next to the Statue of Liberty so immigrants know the American Dream is hit or miss."

"What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window."

"I couldn't find my mustache for a week It was right under my nose the entire time."

"The soldier survived pepper spray and mustard gas He is now a seasoned veteran."

"What is the most awkward day in Harlem? Father's Day"

"How does Popeye lube up his dick? Sticks it in Olive Oyl."

"On the topic of jokes we made up when we were younger, here's mine: ""How much does Canada cost?"" Nothing. It's a free country."