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Joke of the Day

"Every marriage counselor should be replaced by robots... because they take arguments and return values."

"What do you call someone who doesn't like food fights? A pasta-fist."

"I accidentally grabbed the wrong shopping cart but am hoping this kid will stop screaming soon because I am not raising a cry baby."

"Who invented the equation? A X-pert"

"I can't stand people who are indirect You know who you are"

"Monica Lewinsky says she WILL endorse Hillary for president... ..says Hillary Clinton ""doesn't suck."""

"There should be a.... Women's rights music group called Feminem."

"Remember ladies: when a guy says ""I'm listening"" what he means is ""I bet if Godzilla had machine guns for arms he'd of been unstoppable""."

"What did the 40 yr old bassoonist tell the proctologist? You need to examine my butt soon."

"When Dianna died, the British put up a memorial All France got was a slow down sign"