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Joke of the Day

"You really are the cat's pajamas, and by that I mean you're a stupid idea."

"Did a little math tonight. Need to do 3,527 hours of cardio to get down to my ideal weight by summer, and not consume any calories."

"Karma may ""work"" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off"

"Why were the ancient Greeks considered so brave on the battlefield? They didn't want to leave their brothers behind."

"""One mans trash is another mans treasure"" Is a good quote... But apparently its not the best way to tell your kid he's adopted."

"Blue cheese dressing makes anything a salad. For example, this french fry salad I'm eating right now"

"Hear about the oriental tailor that got arrested for being too arrogant with his customers? He was always feeling cocky."

"Q: Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school? A: Everyone kept saying it was back to school time."

"You know, if I had a dollar for every time someone under 30 stole a joke from my generation... Then I would be able to afford to fund the pension that the government stole from me."

"My local dollar store burned down Over $3000 worth of merchandise was lost"