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Joke of the Day
"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink."
Next Joke
"Being a prostitute is like being the heel piece of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but no one really wants you."
"""Kids, grandma just had hip surgery so I need to warn you, she's not herself."" *grandma struts in wearing skinny jeans and smoking an E-cig*"
"I almost had a threesome today I just needed 2 more girls"
"Wife opening mail to spouse: ""The bank says that this is our last notice. Isn't it wonderful that they're not going to bother us anymore?'"
"Masturbating in front of your partner in the hope that she'll join does not always work. And people on the bus stare at you."
"WIFE: How's the ventriloquism going? ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it."
"Why did the artist throw his eraser away? Because it wasn't *kneaded*"
"There's been some interesting science news today. Apparently materials with a half life of 3 pass through valves at a extremely slow rate. -plauge inc"
"Love is a battlefield. And I fight naked."