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Joke of the Day

"Being a prostitute is like being the heel piece of a loaf of bread. Everyone touches you, but no one really wants you."

"I wonder if celebrity couples have a list of 5 average citizens each of them are allowed to sleep with if they ever get the chance"

"Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard... Old Mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard to get the dog a bone. But when she bent over, Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own."

"When my upstairs neighbor uses the toilet It's some next level shit"

"My ex dumped me because of my constant Linkin Park references. But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"1) Find and catch a rabbit 2) Go to restaurant 3) Complain about a hare in your meal 4) Enjoy free meal plus adorable household pet"

"Me: I like my coffee like I like my ex-wives. My buddy (rolling his eyes): Hot and black? Me: Bitter."

"There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't."

"A feminist once told me that there are no documented cases of ""bra burning"" in history that's just herstory"

"What does a cow do after a break up? Mooves on."