21029

Joke of the Day

"Press control, alt, and down arrow key. it's fun."

"[date] Her: so you're a mathematician? Me: no actually I'm a *pythagorean doves fly out of my sleeve and hit her in the face* mathemagician"

"""You home?"" -scariest text you can get"

"Q: ""What has an IQ of 42?"" A: ""40 Marines plus their lieutenant"""

"How do you bid farewell to a sexually open Arctic animal with a mental disorder. ""Bye bye bi bipolar polar bear!"""

"What Bird? Which bird symbolizes love? Swallow."

"That last phone call with my wife was so boring, I feel like I owe the NSA an apology."

"I have a weird fungal infection on my foot... I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me."

"My friend told me this hilarious joke about Parkinson's last night But I don't want to tell it because I'm a little shaky on the details."

"What do you call a male robot that likes to dress up in women's clothing? A transistor."