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Joke of the Day

"""This is mine"", he growled passionately into her ear. ""Are we clear?"" Breathlessly, she agreed. She wouldn't try to eat his nachos again."

"Past, Present and Future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"I find it really annoying that eating food doesn't heal wounds like I was led to believe as a kid. Damn Nintendo."

"I got really bad sunburn after falling asleep on my stomach at the beach... I wanted emergency medical attention but 911 never returned my call. I guess they put it on the back burner."

"What do you call two fake number fours next to each other? Fauxty faux"

"How do you stop an angry rhino from charging? You take away its credit card"

"Hate it when you open the fridge and can't find what you were looking for; like happiness and perfect abs."

"Was talking to a friend about taking many baths a day. ""There's no harm in taking baths repeatedly unless you are soap."""

"Where does Obama keep his armies? In the Baracks."

"Well done, you are popular on Social Media. Sorry about the rest of your life."