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Joke of the Day

"We are making our own xmas crackers for the family gathering this year. Got any good jokes we can put in them? Jokes as in ""why did the chicken cross the road"" not as in ""live wasps""."

"Orange Soda I've always dreamt of having a cock as long as a 2 litre bottle of orange soda, and just as wide. It's just Fanta-sea really"

"Two monkeys having a bath Two monkeys are about to have a bath. The first monkey says ""Oo oo ah ah ah!"" The second says ""Just put some more cold water in it..."""

"Late to Fight Club Was late to my Fight Club last night so I missed the intro rules. I love Fight Club, I'd highly recommend Fight Club."

"My sister's lucky she married a doctor She says she has access to way more treatment options than normal patients."

"Im never going to public bathrooms again Because last time i was there, shit went down"

"You can catch a decent buzz from smoking catnip but don't be surprised if you wake up on top of the fridge."

"If your phone gets wet, try placing it in a bag of rice... ... at night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you."

"Made this one up today: Knock knock I eat mop"

"Sometimes I feel like a pelican Whichever way I look, I can see a huge bill.."