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Joke of the Day

"We are making our own xmas crackers for the family gathering this year. Got any good jokes we can put in them? Jokes as in ""why did the chicken cross the road"" not as in ""live wasps""."

"""I've got 99 problems."" - Walt Disney after only being able to give two Dalmatian puppies away"

"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it's tearable!"

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make when they fly over my head."

"I would never tell a rape joke It would be too forced"

"JUDGE: put ur hand on this book and promise not to lie PERSON WHO IS IN COURT LITERALY FOR LYING ABOUT THINGS: uh...... ok"

"Sometimes I put my head between my legs and fall forward. Thats how I roll."

"What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ? Your spinning me a yarn here !"

"I like my women like I like my men. That's the joke. I'm bi."

"If I die, tell them to reconstruct me from sock DNA."