164373

Joke of the Day

"Did You Hear that Iggy Azalea Got Engaged? She's already cancelled her wedding and reception due to lack of RSVPs."

"Reasons he didn't text you: - He forgot. - He fell asleep. - His phone died. - His pet died. - His GF died. - He died. - He thinks you died."

"Spent the day removing $550,000,000 worth of stuff from my Amazon shopping cart."

"What did George Washington say to his men on March 3rd Tomorrow we march forth"

"chemistry What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? ""HeHe"""

"A man arrives home and was absolutely delighted when he saw that someone had stolen every single lamp from his house"

"What do toilets yell when they ride roller coasters? Weeeeeeeee!!!"

"Nicki Minaj knows we can see her, right?"

"How do you set a woman's watch? You don't, there's already a clock on the stove."

"What has wheels and is green? Grass, I lied about the wheels."