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Joke of the Day

"Reasons he didn't text you: - He forgot. - He fell asleep. - His phone died. - His pet died. - His GF died. - He died. - He thinks you died."

"I was working at the orange juice factory But I got canned couldn't concentrate"

"How long does Charlie Sheen last in bed? Two and a half minutes."

"Say what you will about Clinton being a womanizer But Bush had the Twins go down on him."

"Life is like photography, we develop from the negatives."

"What's 12 inches long and hangs in front of an arsehole? Barack Obama's Tie"

"""Doctor I think I need glasses!"" ""You certainly do Sir, this is the butchers."""

"3 blind mice walk into a bar... ...but they are unaware of their surroundings so to draw humour from their situation would be exploitative."

"What does Batman put in his drinks? Just ice."

"INCREASINGLY DESPERATE GOOGLE SEARCH FOR ""HOW MANY SHADOWS SHOULD I HAVE?"""