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Joke of the Day

"In some ways it's sucks that we are smart enough to understand the futility of life. But luckily we're also smart enough to invent alcohol."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alceste ! Alceste who ? Alceste to meet him later !"

"What is a Coronal Mass Ejection? I might be wrong here, but I think it's when you throw up after drinking too much Mexican beer."

"My girlfriend is in Mexico for vacation and if she has a Juan night stand while she's down there, her and I are totally done."

"Q: Why shouldn't you listen to people who have just come out of the swimming pool? A: Because they are all wet."

"A free corpse is a dead giveaway."

"Reality show idea: ""So You Think You Can Touch Mike Tyson's Nose."" Hidden camera. Tyson isn't in on it."

"Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet."

"Rhianna is writing the soundtrack for the new Lilo and Stitch movie It's about how Stitch develops a gambling problem >STITCH BETTA HAVE MY MONEY"

"A baker was killed by a falling metal pan... you could say his death was filled with irony. Ba-Dum-Tsss"