66860

Joke of the Day

"Reality show idea: ""So You Think You Can Touch Mike Tyson's Nose."" Hidden camera. Tyson isn't in on it."

"Geeky Joke There are 10 kinds of people: those who can count in binary, those who can't and those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke."

"[interview] What's your greatest weakness? ME: Probably avoiding tough questions Can you elaborate on that? ME: Oh hey look at the time!"

"GOOD COP: Tell us what you know BAD COP: Or we'll turn up the heat DAD COP: DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT DAMN THERMOSTAT"

"The doctor asked for a urine sample, a blood sample and a semen sample So I gave him my underwear"

"My penis is only two inches From the floor"

"Ayn Rand, Rand Paul and Paul Ryan walk into a bar. The bartender serves them tainted alcohol because there are no regulations. They die."

"What do you get when you vaporize a king? A noble gas."

"Guess who I bumped into today at the opticians? Everyone."

"Accidentally picked out soothing paint colors and now my panic room is ruined."