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Joke of the Day

"So it turns out the son of a preacherman just had really long arms"

"Ever done it with an attack helicopter? Let me tell you. It's pretty fly."

"The best part of finishing a long piece of writing is when the laptop hits your talentless loser foot as you boot it off a roof."

"After Kanye was released from the hospital for exhaustion what was his diagnosis? He had a Yeez-ynfection."

"I hate it when you're sitting on the bus... ...and the local weirdo gets on and sits next to you. You know the type. The ones that watch you masturbate."

"Do you know what the difference is between patronising and condescending? Condescending is where you talk down to someone. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it though."

"I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added ""they fall right off"""

"I've counted 8 people so far whose New Years resolutions include ""loose weight"". Can I add spelling to your list too?"

"I'm so tired I could sleep a horse"

"What's an Xbox fanboys' least favourite film? P.S. I Love You"