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Joke of the Day
"A free corpse is a dead giveaway."
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"A Rabbi, a Catholic Priest and a Salesman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: ""Is this a joke?"""
"Choose your friends carefully, They are the ones who tag you in photos."
"Two television sets got married. The wedding was boring, but the reception wasbeautiful."
"I got all my coworkers condoms and bibles for Valentines Day because I'm praying they get laid"
"What is the difference between a Cadillac and five dead Asian hookers? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage"
"The milk in my fridge is so old it thinks Elvis Presley's dancing is inappropriate."
"Everyone else could have their eyes shut, runny noses and food in their teeth but if I look thin, it's a GREAT group photo."
"Couldn't eat my soup when I watched The Matrix because there was no spoon."
"A scientist couple had identical twins... They named one Peter and the other one Control Group."