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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet."

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"Why is the second traffic citation always easier to read? Because it's re-fined!"
"Gunman: Put ur hands in the air. Now wave them like you just don't care. YOU STILL CARE [shoves gun in guys mouth] SHOW SOME UTTER DISREGARD"
"And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.. .. but John came fifth and won a toaster"
"How do monkeys go down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster! :D"
"What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip!"
"""Dad why do you write so slow?"" asked Dennis. ""I have to"" replied his father. ""I'm a slow reader."""
"Wanna hear a joke? Politics."
"I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like ""Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."""
"Whats a cab drivers favorite song? Livin' on a fare!"
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