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Joke of the Day

"Autocorrect? More like Autocorrect! Am I right? Sorry, Autocorrect ruined my joke."

"Why do some people think Python scripting is offensive? Because white space matters. hehee"

"What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower? A bat mat."

"My husband doesn't like it when I say we are ""married"" with quotation marks."

"What are a philosopher's favorite type of chips? Plato Nachos"

"What's grey and comes in pints? An elephant."

"[greeting aliens] Hello, we are the smartest animals on this planet. Every week we give the grass a little haircut"

"I saw a fight in the chip shop the other day... Two fish got battered."

"What's big and round and full of seamen? Your mom"

"Another off color limerick A sperm, alack and forsooth Was at it's moment of sexual truth It had hoped to fall On the womb's spongy wall But was dashed to it's death on a tooth!"