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Joke of the Day

"Another off color limerick A sperm, alack and forsooth Was at it's moment of sexual truth It had hoped to fall On the womb's spongy wall But was dashed to it's death on a tooth!"

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"What do you call a computer that is running slow? Restarted."
"Apparently the Bin Laden plane hit a Porsche, it's 911 all over again."
"""It's gonna taste really good."" - excerpt from the guide What To Expect When You're Expecting Pizza"
"Batman V Superman 2: Both men agree their last battle was too destructive They settle their differences by playing Uno Loser leaves earth"
"What do you call two crows? Attempted murder"
"Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had no-BODY to go with."
"What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails? Single"
"So Mickey Mouse is in a lawyer's office. The lawyer says ""So you say you want to divorce your wife because she's crazy?"". Micky Mouse replies ""No, I said she's fucking Goofy!"""
"What do you call a really handsome potato? A spud."