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Joke of the Day

"What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower? A bat mat."

"The guy who cuts my hair tells me that the iPad 3 is coming out in March and the iPad 4 is coming out in October."

"What was Philip Seymour Hoffman's favorite album this year? Pure Heroine by Lorde."

"Did you hear about the blonde woman who has three hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone? The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film."

"Some people walk the walk and some people talk the talk. I drink the drink."

"What's the difference between a gorrila pit and Mordor? One does not simply walk into Mordor"

"What do you call a German rice cake? A reich cake"

"What do you call a Vietnamese undercover police officer pretending to be a prostitute? Pho Ho PoPo"

"At this point, the most shocking outfit Lady Gaga could wear is a t-shirt and jeans."

"Why was math so easy in ancient Rome? x always equals 10"