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Joke of the Day
"Why is the hipster sweating? Because he wore a scarf before it was cool."
Next Joke
"I like a good long fiction piece... So I picked up the Bible at my local book store."
"What's with people thinking white people shoot up schools? I'm white and I have only shot up like 2 schools."
"""look, you know i LOVE calling birds. love. but FOUR? jesus, phil, i don't have room for this shit and you knew that!"""
"Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot."
"What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert? He was forced to resort to excessive violins."
"Is there a mouse in the house ? No but there's a moose on the loose !"
"Find out if the NSA is listening to your call by singing SWEET CAROLINE and if more than one voice responds with bum bum bum THEN YOU KNOW"
"Greenpeace have come up with a new name for shrimp hunting, claiming it's the same as mass murder. They're calling it columbrine"
"They released a new study on marriage It's the number one cause of divorce"