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Joke of the Day

"Two friends are drinking in a bar...[FIXED] ....I I I cent seem to 'member rest of the joke."

"Heard this one from my trumpet playing band director Does anyone know the Trumpeteer handshake? ""Hi, I'm better than you"""

"An Adele remix? Perfect now I can dance and cry at the same time."

"What do you want on your tombstone? pepperoni and cheese...."

"What did Virginia get when she walked into the pet shop? (state joke) A New Hampshire"

"A nun walks into a grocery store Nun: ""Hi I'd like to buy a cucumber."" Clerk: ""Well, why don't you buy two, so you can eat one."""

"Hey Facebook, I really don't care that a friend of mine commented on someone else's status or photo."

"One thing my dogs and I have in common is that we never want me to go to work."

"Old cows eventually make for the best glue So if Hillary Clinton becomes president, there's hope that our divided country can once again stick together."

"Did you hear about the chameleon who couldnt change colour? He had a reptile dysfunction!"