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Joke of the Day

"An Adele remix? Perfect now I can dance and cry at the same time."

"Putting random stuff in peoples carts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYmoaJoyZTo"

"Barack Obama is having a race with Joe Biden around the white house. After finishing the race Obama says ""Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"" Biden replies ""No, Bush did 9:11."""

"One-night stand at first, but ended up happening again... I mean, they're just so cheap at Ikea, so I had to go back to get another."

"What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle."

"I plan to donate my liver to an alcoholic so i'll know it's a match"

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

"List of food it's okay to eat with your hands: - corn on the cob - chicken wings - ribs - hamburgers - spaghetti at your in-laws"

"James Bond is my favorite drunk, horny murderer."

"Why do tampons have strings attached? So you can floss after you eat. Alt ending: So the crabs can bungee jump."