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Joke of the Day
"What do you want on your tombstone? pepperoni and cheese...."
Next Joke
"I wanted to eat lunch at KFC and my girlfriend wanted to eat lunch at Chick-Fil-A... we compromised and went to Chick-Fil-A."
"How can you tell your roommate is of the gay? His dick tastes like shit"
"If by high maintenance you mean she looks like a stoned janitor, then yeah, she's high maintenance."
"My girlfriend says I'm hopeless at fixing appliances... Well, she's in for a shock."
"Cracked me up when I was 5, still cracks me up as an adult. Why do gorillas have such big nostrils? Because they have such big fingers!"
"To all /r/Jokes subs you really need the A"
"Doctor: ""Well, Mrs Jones, you are eating for two now!"" Kate: ""I'm pregnant?!"" Doctor: ""No. You have a tapeworm."""
"Hard to say which dinosaur was the sexiest."
"Totally blasting Billy Joel out of my minivan. I'm like sex on wheels right now."