16410

Joke of the Day

"In recent years the number of UFO sightings has dropped because of the smart phone. Their users never look up."

"Sad day--NBC said no to my TV idea, 'Celebrity Q-tip Cams', where we go deep inside the ears of the stars."

"If you're going to go house hunting, try to blend in with your surroundings. Wear aluminum siding."

"What is Martin Luther King's least favorite Christmas song? I'm dreamin' of a white Christmas"

"Let he who is without sin throw the first stone. After that we'll go by who has the birthday closest to today, then by height."

"A priest, a rabbi and a leprechaun walk into a bar. The leprechaun says, ""Bejesus, I'm in the wrong joke!"""

"Two cannibals are sitting around eating dinner. One begins to complain to the other, ""You know, I really don't like my mother in law."" ""Then just eat the noodles."""

"Guess who's the central character in the next Aliens movie ... Ripley, believe it or not!"

"What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night ? Russell !"

"[1st date] date: ...you said you had abs me: [squints] everyone has abdominal muscles, Susan"