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Joke of the Day

"My 1-year-old thought it was funny to put food in my mouth. It was cute with Skittles. Then she switched to dog food."

"""Well, that just isn't gay enough"" - the inventor of wrestling, shortly before adding spandex to the mix."

"What do you call two hobos hitting each other with cardboard? Pillow fight"

"Why do Germans fear hotdogs with cheese? Because for them, it is a Wurst-Kase scenario."

"A blond and a brunette jump off the empire state building... Who lands first? The brunette. The blond had to stop and ask for directions."

"Yo mama is so fat that we were unable to put her under for the surgery. I'm sorry, there's nothing we could do."

"My wife spent two weeks deciding what color to paint the bathroom. I got a cat on my 9th birthday and named it Cat."

"My father never hit me. But when I was bad, he would take off his belt... And then he'd take off his pants."

"What do you call a compliant volcano? A volcayes."

"Why do Italians wear gold necklaces? So they know where to stop shaving"