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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night ? Russell !"

"I didn't see mommy kiss Santa, but my sister saw her kiss the mailman, which explains why I'm the only one with brown eyes in the family"

"When I change my son I don't use diaper cream, I use anti-wrinkle cream. He'll thank me as an adult with the smoothest balls in history."

"How do you pump up a room full of shy introverts? ""LETS GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!"""

"Knock knock. Who's there? The pilot, let me in! Credit to: /u/Squidward_On_Drugs on an AskReddit thread, wanted to share with r/jokes"

"You know what's odd about those girls at Starbucks? They, like, literally can't, even."

"""What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?"" I was asked on an internet forum. ""Because you're not allowed to take them on planes,"" I answered."

"What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging."

"What is the worst thing a Jewish father can buy for his daughter? An easy bake oven!"

"Today I fucked up because your girl was riding on top of me."