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Joke of the Day

"You could murder someone in California and they wouldn't even arrest you as long as you properly composted the body."

"Day 3 in the desert: I have somehow gained the respect of some birds as they are circling above me in some sort of protective formation"

"I thought I heard one of the kids opening the furnace earlier Then I remembered the handle was on the outside."

"""There goes my Baby"" by Usher... ...is a bad song to play at an abortion clinic."

"My family tree is a cactus,,,,,, Yeah, we're mostly pricks."

"Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? There's no rest for the wicked."

"Chuck Norris was once on Jeopardy. This show is notable in that it was the first occasion in Jeopardy history that Alex Trebek had appeared without a mustache. And a head."

"What do you call a disabled cub scout? A nub scout."

"what do you call it when you donate a vagina to charity? good will cunting"

"I think when a transvestite goes missing their face should appear on a carton of half & half"