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Joke of the Day

"I thought I heard one of the kids opening the furnace earlier Then I remembered the handle was on the outside."

"GF: ""you're so childish"" me: ""it's my day too linda"" [we sit in silence] wedding planner: ""so is that a yes or a no on the bouncy castle?"""

"I wish I could date Pokemon GO's servers Because then she'd go down on me 5 times a day."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? I heard it might be time consuming."

"Why did the chicken say, ""Meow, oink, bow-wow, moo?"" He was studying foreign languages."

"The Beatles drummer, Ringo Starr, has passed away... ...the band is now known as ""The Beatless""."

"What kind of food can you color with? A cranberry! ~ Esher (my Grandson) age 5"

"It's normal to have conflicting feelings on Columbus Day. True, he discovered the Greatest Nation on Earth, but he also supported Obamacare."

"Oh, so you're a Shania Twain fan, eh? That don't impress me much..."

" Why doesn't Santa have any kids? He only comes once a year."