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Joke of the Day

"Day 3 in the desert: I have somehow gained the respect of some birds as they are circling above me in some sort of protective formation"

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"A single word can make a heart open. That word is ""scalpel."""
"Excuse my french... ...but I surrender."
"A grasshopper walks into a bar The bartender immediately says, ""Hey! We got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper looks at him quizzically and says, ""You've got a drink named Leonard?"""
"Bad Zoo I went to a one time and the only animal there was a dog. It was a shih tzu."
"What do you call a gorilla that's a member of a terrorist organization? Boko Harambe"
"Just re-watched the lesbian scene in Black Swan. For the articles."
"Great. Only a single slice of bread left in the bag. That means until I find another slice, everything that happens today is in the sandwich"
"In the jungle, the mighty jungle. Cecil sleeps forever."
"What kind of doctor is always on call? An oncologist! ... I made this one up last night but I'm sure someone has thought of it before."
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