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Joke of the Day

"[puts baby in highchair] Ohhh HIGH chair, I get it. That explains why all you do is eat, sleep & drool you stupid little stoner."

"My mum told me to stop tickling my little brothers feet. Apparently I should wait until he is born."

"In a very touching gesture, Gary Anderson attempted to call up Blair Walsh and offer his sympathy. Unfortunately, they just missed each other."

"Having no clue about human anatomy is my Achilles Elbow."

"Why did the chef invest in chicken and cow bones? He wanted to buy stock options."

"What do Bristol Palin and Iraq have in common? It's just so hard to pull out."

"For the last time I said CAULK, I need black CAULK. This isn't funny, what isle is it in"

"What did the erotic novel author get from his editor? Sticky notes. What did he get from his publisher? A hard copy."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cymbals ! Cymbals who? Cymbals have horns and others don't !"

"A priest, a rabbi and a gorilla walk into a bar. The bartender looks over and says ""Is this some kind of joke?"""