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Joke of the Day

"My mum told me to stop tickling my little brothers feet. Apparently I should wait until he is born."

"Crows are like if a witch decided ""I'm a bird now, too"""

"Whats faster then a Aboriginal with a TV? His son with the xbox."

"Whenever I poke my cat in the eye and he gets squinty, I feel bad and poke him in the other eye, so I can pretend he's just really high."

"I got fired from work on pajama day... It's not my fault I sleep naked."

"When my employer asked if I had a criminal record... ...I guess ""highest number of robberies in an hour"" wasn't the answer he was looking for."

"I tried to be gay once.. But I couldn't fit in."

"As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.."

"""Comedians"" don't RT because? A. Their tweets are pure gold. B. This is just a joke-tryout site. C. They know we're all funnier than them."

"""There's nothing more beautiful than the birth of a child."" (someone who's never seen the birth of a child)"