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Joke of the Day

"Conspiracy theories aren't real. They're all lies made by the government."

"Why did sexually aroused man go to a gay parking lot To rear end everyone"

"Why isn't there a college in the world of Harry Potter? Because even Magic can't pay your college Loan"

"[job interview] ""Tell me one of your long term goals"" Sleeping ""No, I meant-"" *leans in way too close* My answer isn't going to change"

"How do you tell Michael Jackson's age? You put a color scale next to his face."

"Donald Trump is the president elect of the United States. I am still not sure if it belongs here or in r/politics (?)"

"What do you call a Rasta with a liberal arts degree? Jahbless!"

"[stuck on an island] message in bottle: if anyone gets this, please save us bottle returns: if this gets 10k RTs on Twitter we'll send help"

"I think I have procrastination disease. I'll go to the doctor later."

"In British Columbia, why can't you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? Because he wooden like it."