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Joke of the Day

"[stuck on an island] message in bottle: if anyone gets this, please save us bottle returns: if this gets 10k RTs on Twitter we'll send help"

"Came up with this one when I was 10: what do you get when you cross an elephant and a snail? I don't know either, but it sure won't be good for your vegetable garden."

"What do you call a train when it's eating? A Chew-Chew Train! Side note, I have cheesy jokes for days."

"What's the deal with Drake, first he was an actor now a rapper? Must have been all degrassi was smoking. I'll let myself out."

"How do you know that toothpaste was invented in Arkansas? Because if it were invented anywhere else, it'd be called teethpaste."

"Don't forget about bald guys living vicariously through their beards."

"Tiger Woods goes through 18 holes in one day... And he STILL has time for golf."

"How can you tell that microchips are made in the US and not the UK? Because if they were made in the UK they would be called microcrisps."

"To the 4 people today who tried to prank me and failed, eat it jerks. To the 13 who succeeded, guys can u pls delete the photos of me crying"

"A proctologist quit his job.. He was tired of being the butt of the joke."