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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea? An arrrrrsonist. Thank you. I'll be here all week."

"Did you hear about the Florida pastor's Quran burning? His actions are incendiary."

"What ""bus"" crossed the ocean? Columbus."

"TRUTHFUL TUESDAY: When my son was 7 he pissed me off so badly I pressed all the elevator buttons knowing every new rider would blame him."

"A long joke JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE"

"When British people get something stuck in their teeth, it's usually just another tooth."

"I'm pretty certain I'll never be a serial killer, since I don't have a middle name."

"A few years back dos Equis asked me to be the spokesperson for their beer. I told them I wasn't interested."

"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it wont screw."

"My biggest complaint about Batman v Superman is how the movie always just assumes you know which one is which."